night one

so I have made it through the first day.  I remark on this only because I have traditionally done very poorly when I am on my own for long periods of time.  I tend to fall apart after the first 24 hours.  These types of weekends used to be full of junk food and lots of sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing…..except drinking like it was my job.  I would start as soon as I got off work and drink until well into the morning hours.  Then I would try to get a few hours of sleep followed by:

  1. wake up feeling god awful shitty
  2. tell myself I am going to get downstairs and make an awesome breakfast
  3. forget about breakfast….eat whatever was left over in the fridge from the previous night, which could be pizza, burgers, bags of chips…
  4. drink coffee…..or a beer and a few shots of vodka
  5. take stock of the alcohol supply…..determine exactly what time I need to be out the door to get to the LCBO
  6. top up the alcohol supply
  7. head to the basement after a shower and some more junk food
  8. proceed to drink to stop the shaking and sweating….
  9. open the window to the basement to let fresh air in….even if it’s -30C
  10. watch really stupid televisions shows or youtube videos….or both
  11. tell myself that I am only going to drink a few more of this bottle then go to bed
  12. head to bed in wee hours of the morning
  • repeat

I’m not doing ANY of that this weekend.  (well maybe some of the junk food).  I am going to Kitchener tomorrow for an AA conference type thing.  I’m excited for it.  I am not that much different from what I used to be, but my desire to consume alcohol has evaporated.  I’m going to wake up and work on my next 24hrs of recovery.  I am going to re-write the 12 things that I would normally do on a weekend to be recovery items. (see what I did there?)

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