I had a dream about Colin last night.  In it I was spending time trying to get him sober and trying to impress him with the things that I have or that I am doing.  He was a guy that was very much about his image.  He ran a business that was involved in marketing for alcohol companies.  (which is quite a coincidence for a guy with a drinking problem).  He was always bragging about the things that he was doing or how much money he was making.  When he was in treatment he only agreed to go in if he got to check his work email once a day.  His job was pretty much everything to him.  I think it allowed him to present the image of himself that he wanted everyone to see.  Not that it was necessarily true.  Because the Colin that I knew wasn’t quite the same as that guy.  It makes me very sad that he never made it back tot he rooms on his own steam.  I wish I could have done more as I miss that guy.  I was looking forward to getting together for coffee or fancy dinners with him.  After we left Renascent we used to meet up in Toronto for lunches on weekends.  He would always take me to some obscure place that I had never heard of and it was always really good.  It’s sucks that he never got out of his own way and let himself enjoy life on life’s terms.

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