too much

Mare has been sick for a few weeks now. Normally I would do my best to help out and take care of things and her to the best of my ability. But holy shit, I have become so very annoyed with this situation. She has been keeping up at night with her coughing and with I think I am going to be coming down with the same thing. She gets these awful coughing attacks and I just keep thinking “ENOUGH”! Now I am wondering where this coming from? Why am I so annoyed with this? Weird.

I also have come to a weird realization. I was watching something on TV that got me thinking about my relationship with my father. I have so very many resentments towards him, but one of the biggest might just be that I have become just like him. I used to swear up and down that I would never become like him. I thought that there was no way that I could ever follow in his foot steps, or do any of the same things he did. ………and here I am. I certainly followed down his path for a time. I want to believe that I have stopped and started to forge my own path. God I want to believe that so badly.

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