Sunday was Fathers day, and I really couldn’t have given two shits. My usual apathy for this “holiday” was a little over the top this year. I just didn’t really want to give my dad a call. I was actually slightly grateful for this pandemic as I was handed an excuse to avoid seeing him. I am always struck by how I feel towards my parents, when it comes to them I think my attitude is unusual. At least in comparison to what I assume people think is normal. I don’t make much of an attempt to keep in touch with them any more. I was browsing a thread on Reddit today that was about getting things off of your chest. The thread in particular that had me thinking was about a guy who stated that he had come to realize that he didn’t like his parents all that much. He stated that he obviously loved them because they are his parents, but that he just didn’t like them as people.
HOLY SHIT! once again I find there is someone out there that thinks like I do. I thought I was alone in that feeling. When I was drinking I used to call my Mom a lot because when I was drunk. I don’t know why that was, maybe I was drunk and lonely. But I seldom call much now that I am sober. I almost never call my dad. Now, I am well aware that I have many resentments and an unhealthy amount of anger towards him, but I am told that I should pray for him and that I need to let go of those resentments. The hard part is that I think I need to talk about this stuff with him, and well, I just don’t like him as a person all that much. Every time we get together he starts to tell these really stupid stories and quite often the content is not appropriate for the setting and company in attendance. I just get more confused how we could be so different and yet have the same disease.