Ha, it’s Friday. Instead of working myself up about planning when to get the liquor store and how much booze to buy and where to hide it and when to start drinking it and how am I going to ration it and how am I going stay sober enough to function with any activities we have planned……holy shit even thinking about it exhausting. That sentence is terrible and so was that lifestyle. Looking back that was a living hell. During that time I always felt hung over and shitty all weekend. I spent so much time just laying on the couch in the basement drinking or feeling awful. I certainly do not miss that.
I am chairing a meeting tonight for my home group. This will be my second time and I am both excited and nervous to do it. It is rewarding to be active in my group and they say it’s part of the “do” things that we need to be aware of. Being of service is a big part of this program. I will try to get there really early to set up the room and to make coffee and greet people. This certainly is a more productive way to spend my Friday evening.
I’ve been going to the gym every day at lunch. The thing I struggle with is my internal belief that everyone in there is judging me. I guess I should realise that no one in there cares if I even exist, let alone whether I am in their gym. I mean they might judge me if I interrupt their set or steal a dumb bell or something. But I do try my best to use the “gym etiquette”. At least I’m not one of those guys that leave my weights around for someone else to clean up or forgets to wipe down the equipment that I’ve just used.