dilemma 

I have no idea how to handle this situation.  I am preparing myself for next weekend….even though it’s Sunday.  I am getting a cast on my foot/leg on Friday and it is going be a boat anchor for me.  I won’t necessarily be able to drive and I won’t be allowed to walk or do cardio with it on.  So am not a very happy camper with this situation.  I have been trying to figure out what I am supposed to learn from this, if I assume that most hardships are tests of my character or my program.  I don’t know if that is a healthy way to think about things but I am wondering if perhaps this is God’s will that I should slow down a little.  That I need to learn again to ask for help and to practice patience.  

Also, Mare is leaving on Friday for her annual Wine weekend with her girl friends.  I have many mixed emotions about the whole thing.  I am feeling sorry for myself a little bit.  This was always a weekend where I would really get into it and get really drunk and eat lots of garbage and just do lots of nothing.  I used to look forward to not having to hide my drinking for 48 hours.  Well tonight she asked me how we were going to handle things after her wine weekend.  I didn’t know what she meant at first, but she explained that she intends to buy a bunch of wine for the house.  She wanted to know if I was ok with that.  I asked he if she even cared if I was ok with it.  Because I was wondering what she would say or do if I said I wasn’t.  She basically doesn’t care what I think or feel about it, she intends to do it regardless.  I am sitting in a coffee shop waiting to meet with my sponsor; this was supposed to be a get together for me to ask questions and do some step work, but now I feel it is a much more urgent meeting.  I need to get his take on how to handle this.  This roller coaster can stop any time now….I want off. 

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