one year

I have managed to remain in recovery for a little over one year now.  This is pretty remarkable to me as I remember when I entered treatment the thought of this massive lifestyle change was daunting.  I know that there are many people out there who live life without alcohol in it.  I just didn’t think I could be one of them.  I remember friends would tell me “I am not drinking beer right now for this new diet I am on.”  This seemed insane to me.  How in the hell did you just not spend the evening not drinking?  Or I have those friends that would only have a drink on weekends, also a foreign concept to me.  I would at times admire them because that seemed like pretty strong will power.  I now know that I don’t need alcohol in my life, that I can do normal things without it.  I can watch a movie without booze.  I can go golfing, play video games, watch television or hang out with friends all while remaining sober.  It’s a miracle to me really.

I am sitting in a coffee shop waiting for my sponsor to arrive so we can have a weekly meeting and maybe talk about my step work.  I get so nervous about this stuff.  I know on the surface that he isn’t judging me, only trying to help me get through the steps and improve my quality of sobriety.  These meetings aren’t just step work, they are a check-in of sorts.  I run things by him that I have been thinking about or that have been bothering me.  I should probably call him more.

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